


Just a Dream

by Philosoferre



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Don't Judge Me, Enjolras Has Feelings, Enjolras Is Bad At Feelings, Enjolras Was A Charming Young Man Who Was Capable Of Being Terrible, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Pining Grantaire, Poor Grantaire, Post-Break Up, Sad Grantaire, Song Lyrics, Suggestiveness, eponine is a good friend, grantaire has really nice co-workers, grantaire needs more eponines in his life, ish, it's just references, joly and health codes, like they all deserve awards, this is just another break up fic with a happy ending, violation of health codes, we all do tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7516841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Philosoferre/pseuds/Philosoferre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He should be over him, he knows. But every time Grantaire closes his eyes, he sees Enjolras’ smile, feels his hair between his fingers, and hears his voice. And then he opens his eyes and finds it was all just a memory. That Enjolras isn’t in his life anymore.</p>
<p>(or, another breaking up & making up fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Just a Dream one day and bam this happened. It wasn't originally going to have a happy ending, but let's face it, I'm really incapable of giving these two dorks anything less than a fairytale ending. But anyways, this turned out OK, I guess. Better than I thought it would be (and way longer). To my dearest Mirela, my treasured mon ami, the E to my R.

Six months. 

It had been six months since Enjolras told Grantaire he thought their relationship ‘just wasn’t working’. He should be over him, he knows. But every time Grantaire closes his eyes, he sees Enjolras’ smile, feels his hair between his fingers, and hears his voice. And then he opens his eyes and finds it was all just a memory. That Enjolras isn’t in his life anymore.

Six months.

This was pathetic. With all his other relationships, he’d be back on his feet after a few days. But six months later, and he can’t find it in himself to get over Enjolras.

 

~

 

“I should be over him by now, shouldn’t I?” Grantaire asked.

 

He looked at Eponine, who leaned back in her chair and shrugged.

 

“I would say yes, but it’s Enjolras. You’ll never get over him.”

 

“I know. Should I even bother trying?”

 

Eponine shook her head, “No, R, don’t even bother.”

 

“Why did I have to fall in love with him?” He sighed.

 

“The question is will you ever fall out of love with him?”

 

Grantaire knew the answer: no. He’d never be able to get over Enjolras- over his fiery blue eyes, golden curls, gorgeous smile and that untamed passion. He’d never find a replacement. Eponine reached across the table and squeezed his hand, smiling sympathetically.

 

“You’ve been there for me through all my break-ups, now I’m going to be here for you,” She said.

 

Grantaire nodded. He needed more people like Eponine in his life.

 

~

 

_Enjolras smiled, eyes bright. Snow was falling lightly on his hair, but he didn’t seem to care._

_“You know I love you, right?” Grantaire asked._

_Enjolras’ smile was even brighter, “I love you, too.”_

_Grantaire leaned in to kiss him-_

And then woke up. He rolled over, facing the empty space beside him. He could still see Enjolras there, curled on himself or cuddling Grantaire to death. He could still imagine late nights when Enjolras was get a nightmare, and they’d stay up into the early hours of the morning.

But Enjolras wasn’t there, and he’d never come back. He’d never watch another one of his weird documentaries sprawled across Grantaire’s couch. He’d never set off the fire alarm while attempting to cook dinner. He’d never hog the blanket because it was cold out. He’d never say ‘I love you’ again.

 

What if he’d never loved him?

 

Grantaire sat up and grabbed his phone. He knew Eponine would rant at him for going on his phone for hours because he couldn’t sleep, but he didn’t care. He still had that picture of Enjolras at the park as his background, and his heart shattered at the sight. Enjolras looked so happy, so content…Grantaire missed that.

 

He ended up falling asleep with his phone open on Enjolras’ Facebook, focusing on his status.

 

~

 

The next day he went with Eponine to the Musain, but he froze in the doorway when he spotted Enjolras inside. With someone else. His heart sank and he almost started crying right then and there.

 

“R? What’s wrong?” Eponine asked quietly, taking his hand.

 

“Enjolras. He’s in there. With someone else.”

 

Eponine looked in the window and her expression turned grim. Her eyes darkened even more.

 

“I’ll deal with it,” She hissed.

 

“Ep-“

 

It was no use. Eponine stalked inside the Musain and halted menacingly in front of Enjolras’ table, arms crossed threateningly over her chest. Grantaire couldn’t make out what she was saying, but he knew it wasn’t pretty. Enjolras looked confused and surprised- there was not a hint of regret, or guilt, or longing in his eyes. He got closer to them, and heard the end of the conversation.

 

“What is this?” Eponine asked viciously.

 

She pointed to a piece of paper on the table.

 

“My speech for tonight’s meeting,” Enjolras said.

 

Grantaire missed his voice. He missed everything about him.

 

“Do you know what you did to Grantaire?” Eponine hissed.

 

“No,” Was Enjolras’ straightforward reply.

 

Eponine took the paper and ripped it in half, anger burning through her eyes. She then proceeded to rip the two halves into a million pieces before scattering them across the table.

 

“You destroyed him, Enjolras. And he can’t put himself together.”

 

With that, she gave him one more glare before stalking off. Grantaire continued watching him through the window for a while, and when Enjolras met his gaze, he ducked his head and followed Eponine.

 

He followed her all the way to the Eiffel Tower, where she sat ominously on the grass, frowning at the monument in front of her. Grantaire sat down beside her, arms wrapped around his knees.

 

“Eponine?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Thank you,” He whispered.

 

Eponine pulled him closer and pressed a kiss to his forehead, brushing stray curls out of his eyes.

 

“No problem,” She replied.

 

They sat in companionable silence, watching the tourist crowds pass by, but Grantaire couldn’t get thoughts of Enjolras out of his head.

 

He didn’t sleep well that night.

 

~  
  


“Do you think he’s over me?” Grantaire asked.

 

Eponine took a sip from her coffee and shrugged, “Knowing him, the answer is probably yes.”

 

“’Probably’ yes?”

 

“There’s always a chance he’s not, you know.”

 

Grantaire groaned, “If both of us are hung up over the other, why are we still broken up?”

 

“I can’t give you the answer to that, R. But I’m sure Enjolras can.”

 

“Are you suggesting I talk to him?”

 

“It won’t kill you.”

 

Grantaire scoffed, “I bet you my entire savings account that it will. He’s found someone else, so it doesn’t matter if he’s over me or not, because he clearly is.”

 

Eponine looked at him with a disbelieving expression, “Then why did you ask?”

 

“I…I don’t know.”

 

Eponine hummed in reply, but said nothing else on the topic.

 

~

 

The next day, as he was on his way to the Sorbonne, Grantaire saw Enjolras and his new partner by the Seine. They were both laughing, hair tousled by the gentle wind. Enjolras looked genuinely happy, more so than Grantaire had ever seen him, and his heart broke a little more, if that was still possible.

 

He took a deep breath and continued on his way. He didn’t look back.

 

~

 

It had been ten months since they broke up, and Grantaire was planning on throwing a ‘Happy One Year since the Break Up’ party with Eponine, but she told him that ‘masochism didn’t suit him’, which was a lie, because Grantaire was a complete masochist at heart. Otherwise, he would’ve gotten over Enjolras a long time ago.

 

Everywhere he went, he thought he saw Enjolras. Whether it was in the cereal aisle of the grocery store, in the Luxembourg, by the Seine, in the Musain, outside the Louvre, or on the metro. The ghost of their relationship was haunting him, and no ghostbuster could get rid of it.

 

Grantaire was learning to live with it, and seeing Enjolras at every turn was becoming a part of his daily routine. So was pining from afar- it was pretty much the same as the good old days, when he still attended meetings.

 

He tried not to think about the meetings, or any of his old friends.

 

~  
  


He drew Enjolras today. He repeatedly stabbed his sketchbook with a knife, and after finding out that didn’t work as well as he’d like, he resorted to burning the drawing. Eponine stood beside him, silent, watching the flames lap at the paper.

 

~

 

Grantaire stopped drawing altogether, because no matter what he tried to draw, it always turned out to be Enjolras. He also dropped out of university, because how was he supposed to get an art degree if he had no intentions of ever drawing again?

 

~

 

Enjolras was at the Musain at the same time he was, just sitting there by the window, talking with whoever he was currently with. They were holding hands across the table, and Enjolras was wearing a hoodie Grantaire knew wasn’t his.

 

His heart didn’t break at all.

 

~

 

After spending two consecutive weeks at home, Eponine suggested that he leave the apartment.

 

“You should get a job or something,” She said.

 

“Why?”

 

“So you can help pay the rent? Besides, it’s good for you to leave the apartment.”

 

“I’m fine here.”

 

Eponine sighed and took his hand, “Please, R. Do it for me. It hurts to see you like this. I’m not asking you to get over Enjolras, just, live again.”

 

Grantaire didn’t say anything else, but the next day, he asked Musichetta for a job at the Musain.

 

~

 

Eponine was right, and getting out of the apartment was helping. He saw new people every day, and if one of his old friends came in, he paid them no attention.

 

~

 

That plan only worked for a few weeks.

 

Grantaire was cleaning the counter after an accident when a familiar blonde came up.

 

“Grantaire, can we-“

 

“No.”

 

Enjolras sighed, “Please, just hear me-“

 

“I said no.”

 

“Why won’t you talk to me?”

 

Grantaire looked up, “You broke up with me. Is that enough reason for you?”

 

“I know what I-“  
  


“You’re holding up the line.”  
  


“Then just hear-“  
  


“No, Enjolras. I’m not going to listen to you, because those days are behind me. You want to know why I’m not talking to you? Why I’m avoiding you? Here’s an answer for you: you broke my heart. You dumped me, with the stupidest excuse possible, and walked out of my life, not the other way around. You killed me, Enjolras. I’m only a ghost of myself, with no purpose to live, with no hobbies or interests or passions. 

I don’t draw anymore, because every time I draw it turns out to be you, and I dropped out of university because you can’t exactly use an art degree if you’re not planning to touch a canvas ever again. I stayed in my apartment for two consecutive weeks because I thought that isolation would help me get over you, but I’ll never get over you, so I just gave up. And if that didn’t work, at least I had easy access to knives. Suicide stayed at the back of my mind for a long time, because I found it extremely hard to live like this, and I still do. I see you everywhere, and with that…that damn boyfriend of yours, and I know you’re over me and you probably just want to make amends so you seem like a nice guy, right, but I’m not interested in that. 

Sorry won’t heal all the wounds you’ve given me, because, guess what, they’re scars. And scars weren’t meant to heal, but to open up again. I don’t want to hear whatever it is you want to say, Enjolras, because once my scars open up , they’re never going to close.”

 

Enjolras stared at him, mouth slightly open, eyes wide. His hands were resting on the edge of the counter.

 

“You stopped drawing?”

 

“I think I made that clear.”

 

Enjolras looked down, “You’re right. I did come here to say sorry, and I know you deserve so much more than that. So much more than me.”

 

“I’ve never wanted anything else, though.”

 

They stood in silence for a while, and Grantaire made a mental note to steal the Mona Lisa for his co-worker after seeing her take up the line with a sympathetic smile.

 

“I don’t actually like him,” Enjolras said quietly.

 

“What?”

 

He looked up, “Nicholas, my boyfriend. I don’t actually like him.”

 

“Then what are you doing with him?”

 

“He reminded me a lot of you, so I thought that if I dated him, I’d get over you. It isn’t working, R.”

 

“What’s your point?”

 

“I’m not over you. I never was, and I don’t think I ever will. I’m still in love with you- hell, I never _fell_ out of love with you. I see things that remind me of you, and I see you all the time, and I have dreams about you every night.”

 

Grantaire looked down, “Then why did you break up with me?”

 

Enjolras took a deep breath, “You’re going to think I’m lying, or that my reason is stupid.”  
  


“Try me.”

 

“I…I was scared.”

 

“You were scared.”

 

“Yes. Scared because I had never been in love with anyone before you, I’d never had romantic feelings towards anyone before you, and then you come along and my whole world turns upside down. I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings, or…or what to do in a relationship, and I was just so scared because I thought it was getting serious and I didn’t want to mess it up. I didn’t want to mess us up.”

 

“Well, you did,” Grantaire grumbled.

 

Enjolras grabbed his wrist, preventing him from leaving.

 

“And that was a mistake,’ He said, voice low and gentle. ‘Please, I want to give us a second chance. I’m not scared anymore. I used to think that love was a bad thing, and you showed me that it wasn’t…that it isn’t. I don’t want us to be just a dream anymore.”

 

“You know I want to give you everything, Enj. Everything you need, want and deserve- and you deserve so much more than me. Nicholas seems like a good guy.”

 

Enjolras’ grip tightened, “But I don’t love _him_ , I love _you_.”

 

Grantaire didn’t say anything. Enjolras leaned over the counter and brushed his curls out of his face. Oh, how Grantaire missed his warm touch.

 

“You are so very wrong, Grantaire. I don’t even deserve you, but I want you. Need you. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for your help and persistence, and our arguments, and your critique. 

You keep me going, and you make sure I get enough sleep and eat properly and you sneak espresso shots into the decaf coffee Ferre brings me, and you make sure my desk is organized and that my phone doesn’t die, and that I have clean clothes and make sure I lock my door, and you’re always there to make sure I don’t set my apartment on fire, and you go grocery shopping for me when I’m low on food, and you remind me to pay my bills and taxes and help me clean up after meetings, and you edit my speeches without complaining, and you clean up after parties and make sure I get home safe when I’m drunk, or I’ve fallen asleep during movie night, and you bring me blankets when I’m cold and wash the dishes when I’m busy, and remind me to shower when I don’t leave my room for days and you always help me get gifts for our friends, and you remind me when important events or dates come up, and you always make sure I’m never late to things I completely forgot about. You do so much for me, and I don’t do anything for you. 

I don’t deserve you, Grantaire. You deserve so much more than me.”

 

Grantaire closed his eyes and pressed a light kiss to his hand, “I don’t want anything else, Enjolras.”

 

Enjolras leaned forward and their lips met again. Oh, how Grantaire missed kissing him. He missed his soft lips and his soft hair and his warm skin…he missed it all. But it just felt too surreal to be given the opportunity to continue this.

 

He continued kissing Enjolras, softly and slowly, as they were still in a public place, and Joly would surely have them both killed for violating the health code.

 

“Oh, god, I love you so much,” Enjolras whispered, breathless, against his lips.

 

“I love you too,” Grantaire replied.

 

They heard footsteps approach them, but neither moved. Enjolras smiled.

 

“Ahem, what do you think you’re doing?” A gruff voice said.

 

Grantaire reluctantly pulled back. There was a man standing behind Enjolras, the same man Grantaire had seen him with these past few months.

 

“Nicholas,” Enjolras spun around, eyes wide.

 

The man- Nicholas- narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, “What were you doing?”

 

“Umm, kissing Grantaire?”

 

Nicholas glared at him over Enjolras’ shoulder, “The same Grantaire you broke up with a while ago?”

 

Grantaire waved nervously, “Yeah, hi, that’s me. Nice to meet you.”

 

Nicholas frowned, “And why were you kissing my boyfriend?”

 

“Because I wanted him to,” Enjolras said sharply.

 

Nicholas stared, mouth open, at him.

 

“You what?”

 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t really like you. I’m still in love with Grantaire. We’re over,” Enjolras shrugged.

 

Nicholas stared at the both of them, anger gleaming in his eyes, before he middle-fingered them and stalked out of the Musain.

 

Grantaire laughed, “You’re so cold-hearted, Enj.”

 

“And you love me for it.”

 

Grantaire carded his fingers through Enjolras’ hair and smiled, “I guess I do.”

 

“So, umm…well, I was wondering, would you be willing to give me- to give us- a second chance?”

 

Grantaire’s smile grew wider and he kissed Enjolras on the nose, “Yes, I think I will. After all, I’ve heard that if you wish upon a star, your dreams will come true.”

 

Enjolras raised an eyebrow, “Did you wish upon a star, then?”  
  


“That, mon ange, must remain a secret. For now, I say we catch up.”

 

“Catching up…yes, catching up sounds very good.”

 

Needless to say, they caught up on quite a lot of things.

**Author's Note:**

> They 'caught up' wink wink nudge nudge.


End file.
